k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
