I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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