I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
