If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
