I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
