dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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