Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
