I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
