It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
