You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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