Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
