Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
