I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
