At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
