i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
