Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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