He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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