Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
