In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
