i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
