My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
