who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
