Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
