Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
we're so committed to being not committed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
