Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
