Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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