Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I did not marry a roomba.
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