Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
