direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
