I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
