He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
