omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
