Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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