Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
