Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
