just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
