my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
