Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
