and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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