he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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