No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
