Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
