this is something i pride myself on being below average for
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
