I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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