why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
