i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
