gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
