Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
