What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
