Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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