best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
