Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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