The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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