Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
